


just for the halibut

by callabang



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fish, Idiots in Love, M/M, Philadelphia Flyers, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callabang/pseuds/callabang
Summary: Nolan is just leaning in to get a closer look at the tank when the door to the room slams open, which he’s told TK a thousand times is annoying as hell, but which TK refuses to stop doing.“Oh good, you met Fish,” TK says, slinging his backpack to the ground. “He’s my new son.”Nolan does not turn to glare at TK, only because he doesn’t want give TK the satisfaction.





	just for the halibut

**Author's Note:**

> Fish is based on a real fish, who my college roommates and I loved and cherished. Rest in peace, buddy.
> 
> The title is a fish pun which does not actually make sense in the context of the story.

There is a ten-gallon fish tank on TK’s desk when Nolan gets back to the dorm.

This isn’t a problem in and of itself, because Nolan knows from three years of rooming together that TK doesn’t use his desk. 

Well, that’s not exactly true; TK has in the past used his desk as a makeshift tiki bar, a television stand, an art studio, and, most recently, a place to store his rapidly growing collection of ugly thrift store baseball caps. He just doesn’t tend to use it for, like, studying.

Now, though, the baseball cap collection has been replaced with a shiny square fish tank. And swimming inside the tank, amongst the green plastic kelp and the tiny model of a shipwreck, is a fish. 

It’s a little fish, all things considered, with long, drape-y fins and a downturned mouth. It’s trying to hide down behind the fake kelp, but it’s also vibrant red, so it’s not doing a very good job. 

Nolan is just leaning in to get a closer look when the door to the room slams open, which he’s told TK a thousand times is annoying as hell, but which TK refuses to stop doing.

“Oh good, you met Fish,” TK says, slinging his backpack to the ground. “He’s my new son.”

Nolan does not turn to glare at TK, only because he doesn’t want give TK the satisfaction.

“Your son,” he says, more of a resigned statement than a question.

“Yep!” TK says brightly. Today his baseball cap reads “Women Love Me, Fish Fear Me.” _Good thing Fish can’t read_ , Nolan thinks.

“Where’d you get him?” Nolan asks. The chances that TK drove to the pet store of his own volition seem slim, mostly because TK exclusively drives Nolan’s car and Nolan has had the keys on him all day. 

“Oh, you know,” TK says vaguely, which, no, Nolan does not know. 

TK gives him a significant look. “Simmer,” he says, like that explains it.

 _Well_ , Nolan thinks consideringly, _maybe it kind of does._

“What are you going to do with him?” he asks. 

“I’m going to raise him,” TK answers scornfully, like it’s obvious, and that, apparently, is that.

…

Fish is kind of a nice presence in the dorm, actually. He’s quiet, which god knows is a refreshing change, and he’s a nice, bright red, and whenever anyone gets near him he wiggles enthusiastically around his tank.

“It’s because it has bad vision,” Nico says, when Nolan introduces him to Fish over FaceTime. “It doesn’t even know you’re in the room until you get right up next to it, and then it freaks out."

Nolan frowns and does not dignify that with an answer. He can tell when Fish is happy to see him, thanks very much.

…

Nolan is honestly not sure how much money TK has sunk into Fish, because on top of the tank and the blue gravel lining the bottom and the fake kelp and the model shipwreck where Fish sleeps (“His bedroom,” TK announced the second day), he also got water conditioner and three different types of fish food and a little thermometer that he checks every morning. It’s honestly kind of charming, which Nolan would never, ever admit out loud.

“Do you think Fish needs more mental stimulation?” TK asks. His whole upper body is draped along his desk, his legs awkwardly hanging off the far edge. He says it’s the best position for father-son bonding. “I don’t know how old he is so I don’t know if he’s hitting his developmental milestones.”

“What kind of mental stimulation?” Nolan asks, pretending to do his calculus homework but actually scrolling through Twitter. 

“Like a toy, or something,” TK answers, and Nolan loves Fish as much as the next guy but he’s pretty sure Fish’s brain is, like, mad small. His face seems to convey that thought to TK, who immediately puffs up with defensiveness. 

“I’m getting him a toy,” he says, challenging, as if Nolan gives a shit if he drops eight more dollars on a toy for a beta fish. “I’m getting him a toy and he’s gonna be stimulated as hell.”

“Fine,” Nolan says, and goes back to Twitter.

…

The toy is a little floating ball with a hoop attached, and Nolan doesn’t know how it happens, but suddenly Fish can do tricks. He can follow TK’s finger around the tank, and he can swim in a little circle, and, most impressively, he can jump through the hoop.

“Holy shit,” Nolan says when TK and Fish demonstrate. TK is dropping a few of Fish’s favorite pellets into the tank as a reward. They’re tiny and brown, and they look exactly the same going into Fish as they do coming out. Nolan is privately suspicious of TK’s claim that Fish likes these ones best, but he’s keeping the thought to himself. 

TK preens, and Fish -- well, Fish probably doesn’t preen, but he does do a little jerky motion to get the food into his mouth and that achieves basically the same effect.

“Told ya,” TK says, putting a finger on the surface of the water and holding very still. “Stimulated as hell.”

Fish comes up to the top of the tank and allows TK to pet a finger carefully down his back.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Nolan says.

…

The only problem with Fish is that they have to cover up his tank with a sweatshirt when they hook up. 

“I just feel like it’s inappropriate for him to see,” TK insists, and Nolan, faced flush and lips tingling after a full half hour of making out on his bed, groans with frustration.

“Don’t be such a baby,” TK says, already hopping down and pulling his ugly yellow sweatshirt out from the dresser on his side of the room. He’s fucking hard in his sweatpants, Nolan can _see_ it. “It’ll take two seconds.”

Nolan watches as he carefully arranges the sweatshirt, making sure not to cover the top of the tank while also ensuring that Fish’s view of the bed is fully obstructed. 

“Good boy,” TK is whispering to Fish, “Don’t worry, it’s just for a little bit. You want a treat? Yeah, you do. Okay, love you!”

Nolan buries his face in his hands. How TK manages to be simultaneously the most annoying person on the planet and somehow endearing as hell, he’ll never understand. 

“Anytime, bud,” he says into his palms. 

“Wah, wah,” TK answers, hopping back up, and then his hand is on Nolan’s dick and Nolan is very decidedly not thinking about Fish any longer.

…

There is one other problem about Fish, actually, and that is the fact that his presence in the dorms is very explicitly forbidden.

Nolan forgets about that fact until the exact moment that the RA knocks on the door. He realizes that Fish is technically contraband in the same instant he realizes that Fish is still on TK’s desk, swimming around his decked-out tank in its full, ten-gallon glory.

 _“_ RA, fire safety check,” says a voice from the hallway, and Nolan springs up from where he had been laying in bed, his whole internal monologue basically just one long scream. TK’s at class, the useless fuck, so Nolan does the first thing that comes to mind and dashes over to scoop Fish's tank up.

“One second!” he calls back, voice strangled, and he carefully picks up Fish’s tank, trying not to slosh the water all over the floor. For one brief, paralyzing moment, he has a vision of himself dropping the tank and having glass shards and PetSmart accoutrements to deal with on top of TK’s fish’s dead fucking body. 

_Not the FUCKING time, dude,_ he thinks to himself, shuffling over to TK’s bed -- the RA is knocking again, Jesus Christ -- and lowering Fish to the floor.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he whispers, and slides Fish back into the corner under the bed, behind what he can really only describe as a mound of TK’s miscellaneous shit. 

“Coming!” he says to the RA, and jolts up to open the door just as they're keying in.

“Hey,” he says, knowing he’s out of breath and his fucking cheeks are probably bright pink.

“Hi,” the RA says, extremely suspiciously, which is fair. “I’m doing fire safety checks, I just need to take a look around to make sure there’s no fire code violations.”

“Oh, sure,” Nolan says, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. He steps back to let the RA enter, and then he has another realization: In his rush to hide Fish, he hasn’t put away any of his alcohol.

…

When Nolan gets back from the RA’s room, he has a hundred-dollar fine and one less bottle of shitty tequila. He also, it quickly becomes clear, has an absolutely frantic roommate. 

“What the fuck happened to Fish?!” TK shouts as soon as Nolan gets through the door. His hair is all rumpled from his beanie, which he’s taken off and is currently crumpling nervously in his hands. He looks genuinely upset, which is pretty unusual for TK, so Nolan doesn’t even waste time chirping him before he lays down on the floor -- they really need to vacuum, holy shit -- and pulls Fish free of his hiding spot. 

“I just got fined a hundred dollars because I was too busy saving your fucking fish to hide my own shit, that’s what happened,” he says, placing Fish gingerly back on TK’s desk. 

Fish is flitting around nervously, clearly agitated from all the jostling. TK leans over the tank to whisper at him soothingly. Nolan just watches, arms crossed and leaning against his bed.

Eventually the water stops sloshing, and Fish swims into his model shipwreck for some peace and quiet. TK straightens, takes a deep breath, and then turns to give Nolan an appraising look. 

“Thanks for saving Fish,” TK says.

Nolan tries to shrug nonchalantly, but he can feel himself blushing and knows it’s evident on his face. “I wasn’t gonna let the RA get him.” 

“Still,” TK says, “You’re gonna have to pay the fine. You should let me make it up to you.”

Despite his best efforts, Nolan breaks out into a smirk, looking down at TK’s shitty little beard and happy eyes. “Yeah?” he says, and TK nods.

"Well," he says, sighing gustily, "if you insist." TK whoops and begins the process of draping his sweatshirt over Fish’s tank. Nolan watches with what he will later deny is fondness. When Fish is taken care of, TK crosses over to Nolan and gets a grip on his shirt, tugging lightly.

“Oh, and you better believe we’re splitting the fine,” Nolan says, but he lets TK pull him down for a kiss anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/callabang_)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] just for the halibut](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362062) by [frecklebombfic (frecklebomb)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklebomb/pseuds/frecklebombfic), [girlmarauders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarauders/pseuds/girlmarauders), [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery), [xan_reads (xancredible)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xancredible/pseuds/xan_reads)




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